What To Do? What Is Next?

When you first get your heart broken, You think.. “What am I going to do now?” Or, “How will I move on from this?” We have thought of how our life is over, We will never get over this, or never bounce back.

Truth is.. That feeling and those thoughts, They’re all extremely temporary. Life gets better and there is always life after a heart break. Yes, It is a very hard and sometimes a very long road back to “normalcy” or even happiness. But you will recover.

I’m not saying you will never think about those “Good Times” again.. Or that you wont miss the soul that took your breath away from time to time.. You more as likely will. BUT, You can still live life and be happy. You will be able to move on one way, You’ll be able to let someone else take your breath away in a whole new way. A love deeper then before..

So if you go through a “Unbearable” breakup, Know you’ll recover. It may take a while to even think about moving on, But enjoy the single life and find yourself in a whole new way. You may find even the smallest things about yourself are different.. Example; Myself, I found my favorite color had changed. It may sound silly, But even the slightest things can be different..

Keep your head up and don’t let someone still all your happiness and the kindest side of you.. You’ll struggle in future relationships if you stay bound by a past relationship.

Smile, Stay beautiful, Fine happiness, & Love yourself.

Love, BrokenButHealing!

 

Dying On The Inside, AGAIN!

I can’t breathe.. I don’t know what to do.

I haven’t wrote in 3 months.. I thought I was pass this. I didn’t need to write anymore. I was stronger then running back here.

I have been doing good. Things have been complicated.

SO much has changed since I was last on my page..

I was last writing about how me and my “BestFriend” were going back and forth being friends on and off again. but we’ve been friends for most the past 3 months. I went to the beach for her birthday with her and things were pretty good from there, We’ve had our moments.. But we’ve been good.. We currently haven’t talked in a few days but I’m not stressing it to to much!

Me & S have gotten back good friends.. Me and my friend I dated her ex.. Me and her are friends again, We hang out quite a bit.

Things started getting better.. Then they got even better.

My childhood best guy friend come back around… He was the best! I was so happy he come back into my life. We got to see each other while I was down in Alabama and from there things got good. He confessed feelings and we was good. I was HAPPY. I thought he was happy. I was taking a trip down there and he was oh so excited to hang out. So was I. I got down there and he want ghost.. ish. We talked less and less & NOW we’re no longer talking, I was quite devastated. But I’ma pull through.

I don’t know how my life is gonna end up, But Gahhhh. I wanna be happy!

Love, BrokenButHealing15.

Am I On A RollerCoaster?

Would someone like to tell me when I got on a rollercoaster? When did I sign up to ride the ride of life and do flips and turns, Ups and downs..?

If you can’t tell I hate rollercoasters, Kinda why I’m comparing it to life currently.

Well update on my last post, Me and my ‘BestFriend.. We tried to work it out again when something else happened to her and she “needed me”.. I realized that’s the only reason she reached out so I go super shady and distant..                                                                               Her birthday is coming up in a little over a week and I told her I still wanted to see her and so she messaged me the other night and was like “Birthday plans?” I was up for it and then she was like forget it, I’m not taking off work. I’m not celebrating.. I told her just to do what makes her happy.. She got mad and so I stopped replying, We haven’t talk since.

Do I miss her? Ehh. That’s questionable.                                                                                              Do I miss our fun times? That would be a defiant yes.. But it’s for the best because I couldn’t do it anymore. I was way to depressed.

I still haven’t got sad, mad, upset, cried, Etc.. about it.

I’m not sure if I was really just that done and hurt or if it hasn’t sunk in yet.. I’ll just have to wait and see day by day…

BUT

Something great has come from this..

I have gotten so much closer with one of my favorite people.. I let my other friend get in the way we grew apart so much! Can’t wait to see her in 2 weeks!!

Not only her, But I got a lot of old friends back..

 

So I’m not sure how life is gonna go or where it’s gonna go but I’m ready for this roller coaster ride to stop and let me go stand in life for another ride and relax for a while..

 

Love, BrokenButHealing!

BestFriend?¿

Well, There is goes. My BestFriend. Gone; Again. 

Goodness. What is life anymore. 

Be truthful or don’t talk at all. 

She lied to me. 4/2/16. I found out the 3ed from talking to her sister. Her parents got on to her for lying to me about something they said about her relationship.. 

She got pissed off. Text me cussing me out and stuff. I blew her off. Told her I didn’t care anymore. 

She text me and apologized THE NEXT MORNING!! 🙄🙄 4/4/16

I asked her questions about everything.. Then tried to talk it out with her and she wouldn’t talk it out and it was poor pitiful her. She was always the victim. *I stopped replying* 

She text me again this morning.. 4/5/16. Another apology text. AGAIN I tried to talk it out with her and she won’t talk it out so I told her I was done. I needed time to think if I wanted to be friends with her anymore.. 
Just to clear one thing up as well.. I’m not throwing a 2+ year friendship away over a tiny lie. I told her all the other reasons.. Like her running me over, not letting me be myself, controlling me, not letting me speck my opinion, getting mad at me trying to help her on her life choices.. And so much more. 

I was miserable in that friendship. She needs to change if she wants to fix things. Shes played the I’m sorry card before and agreed to change and it gets worse every time so I’m done for now! 
I hope she’s happy and is successful in life. Makes the right choices and does amazing things. To think of life without her is truly heartbreaking. She’s my BESTFRIEND! 

I’m okay rn because I don’t think it has set in yet..  

I’m sure I’ll write more now. 

I started this blog the day after me and her got into our first argument and wasn’t friends for two weeks at the end of 2014. 

I’m not sure what’s gonna happen but I’ll have to wait and see. 

Love, BrokeButHealing. 💕

March 24th thoughts. 

On March 24th 2015 is when me and my ex first started talking. So March 24th 2016 was a year later.. A LOT has happened between us in that year. 

I thought I wasn’t gonna contact him… But I did. 

I snapchated him and said, “I don’t care is you reply or not. It is what it is. But I hope you’re doing good and you’re happy!” Or something like that. He said something about how it was unexpected.. And to text him if I wanted to talk. 

I didn’t want to. But I did anyway. 

We text for a moment. Didn’t talk much. Then it was done with. 

I wish I could just put him in my past! Like someone else come along and show me what it’s like to be happy and loved again. That’s all I want. Hopefully I’ll get it again one day. 

I just wanna be happy. ✨One day✨

Love, BrokenButHealing. 💯

I don’t; But I do.

I don’t miss you, but I do. 

I miss the memories and the feelings, Not you. I miss being loved; Not unloveable.                      GoodMoring and GoodNight text. 

But YOU… No. I could live without you.   

If I was talking to someone else I wouldn’t even think about you. I don’t think about you now until late at night; Laying here. In my thoughts and feelings. But it’s only because I’m bored and lonely. 

If I missed you, You’d cross my mind a million times a day.. But now I realize it’s the memories, not you. 

You have become someone I couldn’t even imagine being with.. Not in a bad way. 

Someone is gonna be lucky to have you but we are just two totally different people. 
Love, BrokenButHealing. 💘

March 2ed 2016. 

{Something I wrote} 
A little over 6 months ago, Like 6 months a day ago (September 1st) I thought I was broken, lost, unloved, abandoned, and Unfixable.. Completely heartbroken. 

Butttttt…. Here we are 6 months later and I’m doing alright. 

I was broken over a boy, For the past 6 months we’ve talked off and on. Well that is officially over. February 26th.. He quit talking to me out the blue… AGAIN. And of course I was upset, Broken again. Felt very unlovable again.     Over the past 3 days I’ve wanted him to text me.. I said if he did I’d end it; But I really wouldn’t have. I would have fallen for any excuse he’d give me.. 

Today.. He liked my Tbh on FaceBook. I said I’d do them all so I had to do his.. 

I said, “Tbh; I regret saying, “Doinf them all” on my status now, Didn’t expect to see your name in my notifications. Haha, but yeah. It is what it is.. But I don’t Fr have anything to say to you, So I hope you’re doing well and happy enjoying your crazy complicated life. Lmao.” 

He said, “Whatever.” 

I said, “Well what were you expecting? A nice Tbh about how I miss you or something? You did exactly what you said you wouldn’t do.. AGAIN. So that’s what happens when you’ve hurt someone so much they truely don’t care anymore and don’t wanna “work it out” anymore or try to fix anything. I truely think it’s best we leave each other alone and let each other be happy. You didn’t wanna be with me honestly, So I finally realized that. Fr though, be happy and enjoy life ******! That’s what I’m doing. What went on with us was and is the past now. In less than a year we went from Friends to Forever to now nothing! It happens, So I’m gonna be happy for you in whatever you do as long as you’re happy. We’re cool though in my eyes. No hard feelings.” 

He said, “Whatever” 

I can honestly say there isn’t anything left for me and him.. We need to be happy in our own lives! Yes I still care for him, I feel like I always will.. But only time will tell. We’ll have to see how things go! 

September 1st. 

   The fact you didn’t even fight, All you said was alright. Everything inside me is tight. Choking on my breath. Suffering. Painfully aching. Life? What is that? What to do now? Where to go from here? This took a crazy turn, definitely not for the better. Life is so unpredictable.. People are so messed up. Nobody can help. I’ve lost my mind. My heart. My smile. My love. My happiness. Without you, I’m lost. My thoughts are nothing but of you. Constantly wondering; Was this ever real? This feels like a distant dream. Something that never happened. You turned my world around; Then dropped it. It shattered just like my heart. Now, I can only go up from here. I’m at my lowest. Time to fight back, Take control. Head up. Let’s go. 

-BrokenButHealing. 💜